Two-Bits Rally Report - by Matt Lasley

I've read many of Randy Bishop's ride reports and was thrilled when I heard he was going to do a "mini" rally in similar format to the big 24-hour rallies. The Two-Bits rally was really the first organized event on the calendar for my late and short season. "Two-Bits" refers to a quarter... like a quarter rally... like 6 hrs instead of 24 hours. I thought it was clever, at least cleverer than I, since I didn't figure it out until explained in the rally mailing.

Lovely sunrise ride up US-83 and Lake Gulch road before I-25 and C-470. It didn't seem a good sign that I missed the C-470 exit, taking County Line Road instead until corrected a few stoplights later. The real error was not fueling up after locating Grand Prix Motorsports. So much second-guessing is possible, I'll try to keep that stuff out of this report from now on.

Randy is super-nice. It was great to meet him after reading all those reports. The bikes rolled in and lined up and the GPM folks made T-shirts available for the taking. Very nice. More than expected for this budget rally. Rally meeting went smooth as Randy explained the rules in context of how a "real" rally was run, and answered a few questions, and finally handed out the bonus lists. Sweet. Here we go.

I just took a highlighter and circled the different spots (as close as I could manage, since I wasn't sure where milepost such-and-such might be) and put the points next to them. It seemed the most points were on the northern route, so I decided I'd go that way, and started writing my little cards up. I only did the first half before gearing up to depart. Heck, this seemed so small, I should get all the bonuses, right? Gee, my brain must be out the window. I'd be in a rush all day. The bonii were along three tracks. Northern was basically I-70 to CO-9 and south over Hoosier to Fairplay. Middle was direct along US-285 to Fairplay. The southern was Pine to Woodland Park via CO-67, west on US-24 and up CO-9 to Fairplay. Definitely the fun route, but seemingly with fewer opportunities to tack on extra off-track points.

Time to go and out we ride. A group stayed together along C-470 to I-70. A cop at the head of the pack kept things pretty contained. No time-gaining on this leg of four-lane. Passed a pair of Sturgis-bound HD riders packed so full of stuff they looked like over-inflated balloons about to burst. Let me say it now and get it over with: Traffic. The whole day was dominated by unbelievably thick traffic. I'll try not to mention it again, but if you're picturing any of this, be sure to add a few cars in the image, and the RVs, semis, etc.

Westbound to CO-74 to connect over to CO-103 and Squaw Pass road. I've done this a few times, so this was nearly automatic. Need gas though. How could I've forgotten that before this started? Dumping points before I begin.

Love my Metzlers. Felt much better and confident on this road than the last several times. Still, I'm not very fast. Let a Beemer KLT around me pretty early on, and he left me in about three turns. Lovely turns and views, and the pavement improves greatly on the western side. Grab the picnic area bonus pretty easily as other bikers swarm in and off I go. Down the rest of CO-103 into Idaho Springs, and I've been on reserve since Squaw Pass or so. Dart into Shell, since that's who I have a card for, but all the pumps are covered, and it's not pretty. Squeeze in behind a Sturgis-bound trailer since the trailer can't pump. Of course, they were filling up the trailered bikes' tanks too, so maybe I was out of line.

Down the street to the waterwheel bonus. This involved walking under the interstate, so a bit of a longer stop. Chatting with a fellow (forget or never got the name, we'll call him BlueC for Blue Concours from now on). He asked about Berthoud Pass, and I intended to go, and he thought so but worried about the time.

Time? Oh yeah, time has been passing hasn't it? Maybe I can't get everything. West bound again, still intending to do Berthoud, when a sign proclaims "Berthoud Pass, 9 Miles, Construction" or some such. Yikes! None for me, thank you. Press to Georgetown. A bit of wandering about town, but I find the church as BlueC is pulling away.

Sliver Plume is the next town up and a couple of blocks down the dirt main street brings me to the bakery bonus stop. BlueC's bike is there. Perhaps he went in to buy some bread for the "bonus points at home". If I'm going to get bonus points for home, it's going to be after the rally's over, and likely in the form of early arrival, not bread that's been in the dank side-bag for a hundred miles. Still, perhaps a flower-sniffing trip will give me the chance to bag some bread another day.

The passes were the big bonuses off the route. Berthoud I skipped. Fremont Pass I was giving up on, but Vail and Shrine were like a double bonus waiting out there. That would be my big "move" since it was the only real risk I would be taking, so it seemed. Happily I remembered that the rest stop precedes the interstate sign for Vail Pass by a ways, and made the exit fine. Hydration systems work rather well. Too well. Corrected for that (rest stop, how convenient) and got the sign. BlueC reminded me again of how screwed we were on time. He was Frisco-bound with doubts about Fariply checkpoint arrival time. I mounted up and headed for Shrine Pass. I came this far, what's 6 miles of dirt? And the points!

Up I go. Dirt alright. "Pot-holes" doesn't really cut it. Turkey-frying pot convention would be more accurate. Threading my way. THUNK. Oh yeah, I remember what bottoming the forks sounds like. Ouch. Thank you so much for pulling over Mr. SUV. Blessings. Up for the bonus and back downward. Try not to scare the hiking family again. Behind two vehicles this time, and wait out the descent to pavement. Back on I-70 now eastbound, for Frisco. I've either helped clinch a top score, or my doom. We'll see.

Frisco bonus was an easy pickup, though I did waste time getting off the bike before I saw the clue. Departed as someone pulled up, so I'm not the only one running short on time. Down to Breckenridge with mild hopes of bagging the snowplow bonus. I almost blew through the light, but noticed "Boreas Pass Road" just in time to make the turn lane. Pulled around as another bike was heading out and on up the road. Park and get the bonus, and ask the fellow at the bench about Baker's Tank. "About 4 miles up, last half in dirt". Hmmm. I'm really pushing it already. Skip the points. (Someone later said it was closer to 7 miles up.) Back on the road.

Hoosier Pass was one of three progressive bonus stops. I've read reports where such bonii really add up, so I didn't want to miss these guys. It was done in commemoration of the Thin Air TT. I'd love to do this rally if/when they bring it back.

Luckily I park close to the plaque I need and get Hoosier Pass from the bike. Off I go, next stop Fairplay and the checkpoint! WOAH!! A huge hopper truck appears in my path going 35 mph with an SUV right behind. Happily one turn later is open, dotted and clear, and a blink, shift, twist puts me around him without any lost time. Whew! Tense all the way to the city limits, where I felt 5 minutes would be enough for me to stop white-knuckling the bars. Pull in for gas and wander over for check-in at 12:58. Two whole minutes? Heck, I could've taken a picture or something. Whew!

Line for bathroom was four people deep already, so I gave up on that and just leaned into the liquor store for the Fairplay progressive bonus, and then back into town for the church bonus.

I actually considered running down for some southern leg bonii, but reconsidered after a few miles on US-285. I was out of time. I took a third of my second half time on my first half leg, so I gotta roll.

It was easy to find the church in Jefferson, but actually kind of crowded. Something going on. Two bikes were there ahead of me, and I should have hung around a bit instead of rolling on. They would save me later, but this time I wandered around the tiny town, talking to people before I found the garage for the other bonus. You couldn't even read the thing! 14 pts!! I spent more time dawdling than hauling up Shrine Pass! (exaggeration). On up to Kenosha Pass.

Left turn in the campground, no signs. Check instructions. Duck-walk to some other signs. Answer isn't apparent. Picture a biker on his mount with a big question mark floating over his head. A little "beep" from the road turns my head to see one of the other two bikers I saw in Jefferson pointing over his head to the other side of the road. THANK YOU! Dashing over to the PICNIC grounds I find what I'm looking for, which is impossible at the CAMPground. Read the Instructions! That really could've cost me.

A check of the points at Aspen Park shows 30. I figure I'm doomed to be late by now. 30 points would only buy 6 minutes of penalty time. I'd be lucky to pay for the stop time. Skip that. (Later I noticed I took 20+ minutes for Shrine Pass for 39 pts, so point-economy calculator wasn't always working).

Lots of emergency vehicles and flashing lights up ahead, which as I near reveals a nasty rollover off the road. That helicopter overhead isn't a traffic copter after all, but a flight for life chopper. I figure this out after I've passed. I barely made it through, as I heard many other riders were stuck at a dead stop as they closed the road to land the helicopter. In the distracted state, I notice a sign for "Tiny Town" and I exit without thinking. I've exited too early. I press on through S. Turkey Creek Road, which is rather fun, but I'm irritated to already be losing so much time and make an error like this. At Tiny Town, I can't find what's asked for, and presume it's inside where I'd have to dismount. I write something down I know is wrong, but do get the progressive bonus across the street. Rather than risk the unknown road ahead, I backtrack a bit where I know I can make it back to US-285, to the exit I should have taken.

On to C-470, and around the loop to home base. I'm told I'm 9 minutes late, assessing a 45 point penalty. Drop off the score-sheet and chit chat while awaiting results and seeing other riders come in. BlueC talks for quite a while later and we review the places where we were same and different. Bob on the CB900 (which I remember from even before the rally, as his was older than my bike by 2 years, making his the presumed oldest bike in the rally) actually missed the end of the time frame and was zeroed out. He went south for some bonuses, and I-25 couldn't make up the time, especially since traffic prevented him from even making the 75 mph limit.

In any case, my return to the scoring table saw me greeted by Randy with an outstretched scoresheet "you're number 1". "Really?" Nod. "I guess Shrine Pass was worth it after all!" "Yup." Turns out I was the only one to attempt Shrine Pass. That statement may not be accurate (about it making the difference) but it was still kinda cool. It was fun, and any number of adjustments would have put anyone else in top spot. It was really super close. In any case, I had a good time, and I hope Randy does similar events in the future. Thanks again guys.

-- Matt Lasley, Colorado Springs, Colorado, October 2004